Acute Stress Management

Learn new skills and ways of thinking: (The 4 ‘F’s)- to be done in this order:

a. “Free Yourself”
i. Distraction
1. Get away for a while, until you feel less anxious.
a. Walk, exercise, count tiles, breathe deeply from your stomach through your nose, and fully exhale out- 5 full times.

b. “Freeze”
i. Notice
1. Do not react yet.
a. Observe your thoughts, physical sensations, impulses.
b. Just breathe and watch.
c. Use “grounding” if necessary- pick up a stone, sit down on the grass, put your hand one the wall- get back in touch with solid reality so you can deal better with the fuzzy reality of perceptions and misunderstandings.

c. “Fuzz It Up”
i. Soothe yourself as you would a good friend, be gentle and curiously kind
1. Generate self-soothing statements- what are yours???
a. “It’s going to be OK.”
b. “Things always change.”
c. “I can sit through this for just this moment.”
d. “I don’t have to do anything right this moment.”
e. “I’m a survivor.”
2. Generate gentle questions, don’t push for an answer, just try-
a. What’s under my anger?
b. Am I focusing on this too much?
c. What is feeling stressed doing for me?

d. “Face It”
i. Problem-solve- get a piece of paper and write down:
1. List all the thoughts you have about this potentially acute stressor.
a. Next to it, answer the Q: Can you change it right now?
i. List what you can do- and how you’re going to do it, and when. (e.g., I can look for a different job tomorrow, e.g., I can put earplugs in right now).
1. Even include the things you know you shouldn’t do- like getting in a fight, yelling, hitting something, quitting your job- things like that.
a. BUT you must write next to this the potential negative consequences, both to your world and to your self-value and who you want to be.
b. Can you change it later?
i. List what you might do later on.
c. Is it out of your control right now?
i. Write down that you cannot change this right now- make it clear.
1. Write how you are going to deal with knowing this.
a. Radical acceptance
b. Find meaning in it
c. Secondary control- change the way you see it
d. Re-adjust how important it is to you
i. What is ACTUALLY important to you?
ii.  your integrity? The health of your loved ones?
iii.  focus on what’s REALLY important.
e. Plant your “flag on the hill” with caution. There are only a few things that are worth the consequences of fighting for them- is this REALLY one of those “flag-planting” moments? Save these and use them wisely and cautiously.
f. Perform a ritual or ceremony that proves you are for now going to “let this be.” E.g. write down what is bothering you and rip it up into tiny pieces.
g. …Other ways you’ve dealt well with “letting it be” in the past…